💌🚀 **BREAKING: The GREAT Newsletter Wars!** 😱💥 So, we got a scoop on this up-and-coming newsletter platform called Beehiiv 🐝💰 dropping a MASSIVE $30 million in ARR! That’s right, they’re flexin harder than a gym bro at a protein shake convention. 💪📈 Meanwhile, Substack is sitting in the corner crying over their 10% cut like, “why you gotta do me like that?” 👀💔 Let’s talk numbers: You can get started with Beehiiv for just $43/month for 1,000 subscribers. That’s pennies compared to Substack’s fee equivalent to a Netflix subscription but with none of the good binge-watching. 🎬🍿 💬 *Imagined Developer Quote*: “Honestly, we just thought, what if we gave newsletter creators a fighting chance? 🤔💭” 🛑 And let’s not even START on the drama with Oliver Darcy leaving CNN to launch his own newsletter, Status. Like, bro, is there a market for 357 existential crises in your inbox? 😅💌 Drake is pointing away from Substack like: *this is cringe* 👎, but towards Beehiiv like it’s a stonks rocket ship 🚀🔥. **Unhinged Prediction**: In 2024, we will ALL have our personal AI newsletters run by sentient toasters. And trust me, they’ll send you daily 💡 “Bread-Head” memes instead of news. 🍞💥