🚗💨 "TechCrunch Mobility: The Two Robotaxi Battlegrounds That Actually Matter" (But who even cares? 🤡) Welcome back to the latest episode of “How to Turn Your Car into a Chemical Toilet” featuring our beloved robotaxis! ✨🚖💰 Ah, yes, nothing screams "future" like trusting a car with wheels and zero social skills to get you home after a wild night 😂. So, we’ve got two major battlegrounds for robotaxis: San Francisco (a.k.a. Silicon Valley's Hot Mess Express) and Austin, home of BBQ and questionable tech decisions. ☠️🔥 Can we just take a moment to appreciate how these companies are racing to throw AI brains into metal boxes? Like, that’s what I want—dinner and an existential crisis on the way to my destination. 🥴🧠 Leaked Quote from a "Developer" at some random startup: “We just told our AI to drive the way it feels – it’s basically a teenage driver, but with TikTok addiction.” This isn’t a race, it’s a battle of cringe levels, and right now, all I see are stonks diving faster than your grades after college. 📉 🔥 Unhinged Prediction: In 5 years, you won’t call an Uber, you’ll call your robot cube buddy, and he’ll show up blasting “Baby Shark” at full volume just to mess with you. 🚀💀💩 Share this chaos, and let’s embrace the meme-riffic future! 🥳