🚨💥 *BREAKING NEWS: OBAMA SPILLS TEA ON HIS ONE TRUE MOBILE CRUSH* ☕🤖 In a shocking turn of events that screams “This is fine” 🔥, former President Barack Obama has declared his loyalty to *drumroll please*… the OG classic: *Angry Birds*! 🐦💣 (y'all thought it would be Fortnite? Nah fam, he’s got that *vintage vibe*). But wait, let’s rewind: while we’re out here stressing over *Wordle* results like they’re our final exam, Barry is over here slinging birds like it’s 2010! 🤡💀 What’s next? A TikTok of him smashing the pigs while dropping bars on “Yes We Can”? Leaked quote from a CNET intern: “Honestly, I thought he’d be on *Candy Crush* or some *cringe* battle royale, but I’m here for the iconic choice. Can I get a *stonks* in the chat?” 💸📈 Meanwhile, tech companies are literally seething because nobody gives a single *fr fr* about their new shiny apps when a former POTUS is getting his rage out on mythical avian combat. So here’s my unhinged prediction: by next week, Obama is dropping a memoir titled “A Bird’s Eye View: The Politics of Pig Destruction”! 🚀💰💣 Don’t sleep on this one, fam! SHARE THIS TO UNLOCK THE SECRET LEVEL! 🔑✨