🌪️🎒 PULL UP YOUR CHAIRS 'CAUSE THE BACKPACK WARS ARE BACK, AND THEY'RE LOUDER THAN YOUR DAD'S CAR ON A SATURDAY NIGHT! 🚗💥 The Verge just dropped the *ONLY* bag list you'll need in 2025, ‘cause whoever doesn't have a *$345* backpack is living in the stone age. 💰💔 First up, the Tom Bihn Synik 30 – the bag that screams "I'm a responsible adult" while you quietly seethe over your empty bank account. 🙃💸 “Yeah, I take my kids out, but also I carry my laptop, snacks for my inner child, and my existential dread,” said some dad who probably has a "World's Okayest Parent" mug. 😂💀 This bag’s so strong and durable, it could probably survive a zombie apocalypse — or at least hold enough snacks to bribe your way out of one. 🍫🧟 But, if you’re like me and can’t afford to slather your shoulder in luxury leather, just remember: those $20 bags at Target are basically the same thing—except yours might not survive the Rage Monster at the airport. 🔥😜 💡 PRO TIP: If your bag doesn’t have a pocket for your anxiety or mid-day energy drinks, just toss it in the trash! 💼🚮 Also, if you think backpacks define your self-worth, I have some wild news: prepping for 2025 means leveling up to a hoverboard. 🚀🛹🔥 So gear up, fam! Let’s stroll into 2025 with bags bigger than your dreams and pockets deeper than your regrets! #BasedBeanBags 🤡✨