🚨📚 *BEEP BEEP* Back-to-School Alert! 🎒💥 The Verge just dropped their 2025 Shopping Guide and it's about as exciting as watching paint dry (on a $2,000 gaming monitor) 😴💸. But don't worry—I’m here to TURN UP the chaos! 💥🔥 So, what’s on the shopping list for our future Einsteins? 🤓🤔 You guessed it! Apple’s AirPods 4, because who doesn’t want to block out their roommate’s existential crisis? 🙉💔 And let’s not forget Roku's *new* smart TV that will definitely not make you happier, just more addicted to binge-watching until 3 AM (sorry, grades) 📺😱. Imagine a dorm room vibe that’s like the “This is Fine” meme with furniture that’s worth more than your student loans. 💰🤡 Developer quote alert: 💬 “I just need to watch more TikTok to deal with my crippling anxiety of grades being a mere pixel away”, said no one ever… probably. But hey, what’s more cringe than *not* getting a 4K upgrade for your wall of memes? 🤦‍♂️😵‍💫 Fr fr, you’ll be vibin’ with straight A’s! So grab your credit card, because the ultimate goal is *STONKS* — and sadly, still no AR* school supplies. 🙅‍♂️🚀 **Hot Take:** Bet you’ll end up *literally* building a school-of-hard-knocks TikTok account just to afford those overpriced dorm essentials. Mark my words 🍕💸!