🎒💻 Welcome to the #BackToSchoolWasteland where dreams go to die and overpriced tech reigns supreme! We combed through 45+ goodies that are supposedly *essential* for surviving the semester—because being basic is so last season, amirite? 😴✨ 🚀 First up: the “Super Mega Ultra 3000 Laptop” that promises to run faster than your anxiety when finals hit. This bad boy costs more than a small car but, no cap, it runs smoother than your friend’s excuses for skipping class. 🔥💰 And how about those multifunctional dorm gadgets that are just glorified paperweights? 🤡 Like, who thought a smart toaster that connects to Wi-Fi was a necessity? "I need my toast to be crispy and my internet to be on point!" — said no one ever! 📶🍞😂 Meanwhile, schools are still rocking "This Is Fine" memes in the cafeteria while students try to figure out why their Bluetooth headphones only connect to despair. 💔👂🙃 💡 LEAKED DEV QUOTE: "We just added a new color option for the ‘studying’ mode. It's called ‘self-doubt grey’!" — Anonymous Tech Guy 🎤💀 Here's the final cringe prediction: by 2025, Apple will release a smart backpack that mindreads your homework excuses. I’m talkin’ AI that snitches on you as you sleep. 🤖🚨 #BigBrainEnergy So gear up, folks! School’s about to get wild, and remember: stay chaotic! 🎉🤘