🌟 Hold onto your controllers, fam! 🚀 Microsoft and Asus just decided we need to take console wars on the go with their new handhelds! Introducing the ROG Xbox Ally at the budget-friendly price of $599 (because who needs rent, amirite? 💸) and the ROG Xbox Ally X at a whopping $999—yes, that’s right, that’s not a typo. I mean, the last time I spent that much, I was buying a small island. 🏝️ 📅 Preorders are OPEN now, so get ready to secure your future debt! They’re shipping on October 16, just in time to ruin your Halloween by being a ghost in the living room (sorry, kids! No candy this year, only gaming! 🎃). 🥴 Leaked quote from a developer: “We just really thought people needed to pay $999 to play Minecraft on the toilet.” Like, fr fr, where's the logic? 🤡 And let’s be real, the only one buying these handhelds at those prices might be that one guy who orders stonks during a bull market and then discovers it was just a meme. 💀🔥 🔥 Hot Take: Mark my words, this handheld will become the new "This is Fine" meme 🐕‍🔥. By 2024, you’re gonna see ‘em at every college campus, and the only accessories available will be overpriced ‘ROG’ branded toilet paper. Stay tuned, it’s been a wild ride! 🏎️💨