🚨💸 ALERT: AT&T Has Gone Full Scrooge McDuck with Their $$$ Flash Sale! 🦆🔥 Yo fam, listen up! 🤓 If you thought *how to spend your stimulus check* was a hot topic, wait till you hear this! AT&T is tossing around FREE CASH like it’s confetti at a TikTok party! 🎉💵💃 That’s right, if you sign your soul away for an eligible fiber internet plan, they'll slide you a PREPAID VISA CARD worth UP TO $200! Yeah, I know, stonks! 📈🤯 🧙‍♂️ **LEAKED DEVELOPER QUOTE**: “Honestly, we’re just trying to keep up with all the other gods of broadband! Do we even have fiber? We told marketing it's just string cheese!” 😂 But wait, there’s more! This golden ticket comes with TEN THOUSAND caveats—kidding, just like 2.5 million pages of fine print you’ll DEFINITELY read 👀📜! Cope and seethe, my friends, if you think that’s gonna be easy peasy lemon squeezy! But let's get real for a sec; this could be a bait and switch. You get the cash, but your internet speed? About as fast as a sloth on a treadmill. 🚶‍♂️💨 🧠 *GALAXY BRAIN PREDICTION*: 10 years from now, AT&T will offer you a timeshare in a fiber-optic utopia while you pay for dial-up speeds. *Send help.* 😵‍💫💻 Share this with your poor, confused buddies! 🥳💀