🌌🎤 🚨BREAKING NEWS: CEO Andy Byron Resigns After Getting CAUGHT in 4K at a Coldplay Concert! 🕵️‍♂️💔 So we got this whole “business CEO” turned “celebrity lovebird” situation happening with Astronomer’s big cheese, Andy Byron! Picture this: our boy Andy caught in the steamy embrace of Chief People Officer Kristin Cabot like they’re the stars of their own rom-com! 😂✨ Word on the street is that the video dropped like an atomic bomb, and the internet exploded harder than that Coldplay finale 🎆💣. The cringe? It’s REAL, fam. THIS IS FINE 🤡💀. Like, bro, the ONLY thing you should be cuddling with is your company’s stock price! 📉📉 Some leaked dev quotes hit my inbox: 👨‍💻 “The only thing colder than that concert is our stock right now.” - Dev #1 👩‍💻 “I’m just here for the office gossip and popcorn.” - Dev #2 If you’re not doing a Drake point meme while watching this unfold, what even are you doing with your life? 🚀💰 Stonks: going down the toilet like Andy's career! 💩 Prediction: Next week, they’ll announce a “Coldplay x Astronomer” collab that’s gonna redefine the meaning of cringe! 🤖🔥 Hold on to your hats, this meme train is taking off! 🚂💨 #CoupleGoals #CEOFail