🚨🚨 BREAKING: Assort Health just bagged a whopping 💰$76 MILLION💰 to INSERT AI AGENTS into our healthcare system like they’re in a futuristic sci-fi movie! Yup, you read that right, stonks are flying higher than Elon on a SpaceX shuttle! 🚀🔥 Their master plan? Ditching that awkward phone call to your doc like it’s an ex you ghosted—good luck scheduling appointments now, Karen! 😂 Say goodbye to the chaos of missed lab results! 🏥💀 “Patient experience” is the new buzzword, but let’s be real, it sounds more like a fancy way to say, “Look, no more waiting in line, plz.” 🤖 Leaked Developer Quote: "Honestly, if we can just train our AI to handle mom’s health questions, we’re set for life. Cope and seethe, boomer." 😂✌️ But fr fr, can we trust AI with our health? This is like letting a dog operate a defibrillator! Will our robot friends heal us or just throw shade while predicting our futures? 🤯🌌 Hot Take: By 2025, your AI might just be diagnosing you based on how many TikToks you watch about avocado toast. Welcome to the future, fam! Let’s hope it’s filled with more *healing* and less *seething*! 🤡💖