🚨🔥 Tech world, I present to you the greatest innovation since slice bread – the Aqara Presence Multi-Sensor FP300! 😱💡 But wait, it's CORDED NO MORE! 💀✨ That's right, this bad boy runs on batteries for up to THREE YEARS! 🛋️🔋 Tired of tripping over wires like a toddler on a sugar high? 🤡💥 Say hello to your new best friend that can see you at 20 feet like a creepy neighbor (Yes, I’m looking at you, Karen👀). This little sneaky sensor uses mega-advanced radar to know when you're home or when you're just ghosting your responsibilities. 👻💨 But hold up! 😱 If you upgrade to *Thread* (which sounds like a new horror movie) you'll get a measly TWO YEARS of battery life! 💩💔 Like, come on, Aqara! That's a cap 🤦‍♂️. And for $49.99 🤔, it includes features to check your humidity and temperature—because we REALLY needed an overpriced thermometer. “Hey Dave, can you tell me the humidity while I stare blankly into the void?” Leaked developer quote: “We basically just slapped a radar on a glorified battery and called it innovation. Stonks, right?” 📈🤖 In closing, I predict this “presence sensor” will become essential, but also met with confusion! People will start thinking they’re being watched 👀. Get ready to explain why the lights flick on without anyone being home! 🌌🔥 #SmartHomeRealty 💥👽 *Expect a TikTok challenge where people try to confuse sensors by acting like furniture.* 🛋️💀