🚨🍏🎉 BREAKING: Apple's Veritas Chatbot Is So Secret It Might as Well Be an X-Files Episode! 👽🛸 Beloved by few, misunderstood by many, Siri has been stuck in a tech time loop like it's the 1990s 💾. Well, Apple decided to give her a glow-up called Veritas! 🌟 Why? Because even Siri needs a therapist, fam. According to our buddy Mark Gurman over at Bloomberg (who definitely isn't *leaking* stuff like a busted pipe), Apple’s latest internal test is basically Siri's version of “It’s okay to feel feelings!” 🎭🔥 But wait, there’s more! Instead of throwing Veritas to the masses like a confetti cannon at a wedding, Apple is keeping it all to itself 😱. Employees are drafting love letters to Veritas like, “You complete me,” while we’re still here stuck with the original Siri, cringing hard as she misunderstands our every request. 💔😩 This feels like a “Drake pointing” meme moment—like, why won’t Apple release it to us plebs? 🤦‍♂️👎 More internal testing? We get it, Apple! You want to keep your shiny toys to yourself. But like my mom said, “Sharing is caring,” so stop being cringe and let us in! 🤡🍏💰 🔥 My hot take? If this keeps going, Apple will lose its “cool” card and we’ll see a TikTok dance trend where people *literally* throw their iPhones into a lake to escape Siri's sass! 💀🚀 #SiriIsDead #VeritasOrBusted