🚨📣 BREAKING NEWS: Apple is now the official *Formula 1* babysitter in the US! 🏎️💨 That's right, folks—starting next year, your grandma's favorite streaming service is about to get a lot more… vroom vroom! 🚀💥 Say goodbye to those cringe-worthy cable subscriptions, and hello to watching fast cars go *zoom-zoom* with Apple's shiny new F1 deal! 🍏🔥 Do we really need to pay a premium to see cars go in circles? I mean, can I get an Apple Music playlist of engine sounds while I'm at it? 😂 "Honestly, we just knew we had to sell something. 🤑 Like, we tried selling a car for a minute, but then the whole *Apple car* idea crashed harder than a Tesla during a software update." - Imaginary Apple Dev #1 But hold up, folks! Before you start stonksing over this news, remember that it's all just a fancy way for Apple to snatch up your wallet while you sit on the couch screaming, "THIS IS FINE!" 🔥💀 And here’s the hot take! 🥵🧊 In 10 years, cars will be streaming on Apple TV, and you'll be paying extra to FRY YOUR EYES OUT on a holographic race with your favorite drivers! So buckle up, fam—you’re in for a ride! 🥳💰 #F1OnTimCookTV