🚨🍏 BREAKING: Apple is officially on that *iPhone 17 sell-out* stonks 🚀💰! Like, we’re talking “hold my overpriced iced coffee” levels of hype! 📈🔥 You know Apple is just out here flexing harder than the gym bros at the last company meeting. “Yo guys, our stocks just hit $263 a share! We’re basically the Elon Musk of lemons!” 🍋 Haha, stonks go brrrrr! 💸 But fr fr, I think we can all agree that the iPhone 17 is just the iPhone 16 with a new paint job. “Is that an upgraded camera or are you just happy to see my bank account draining?” 📱😱 Meanwhile, iPhone users acting like they just found the Holy Grail every September. *Drake Pointing meme activated!* 👀 Leaked dev quote: “Honestly, I could use a time machine to go back and convince people this is way better than the last one. But like… it's not!” 🤪💀 And here’s my unhinged hot take: In 2030, Apple will *literally* just sell us their new ‘iPhone 30X’ by sending us a hologram of our old phones with glitches! 😂💥 This is fine. Will you invest in another overpriced meme? 🤡