🚨🍏 Breaking News from the 🍎 Orchard of Dreams and Dystopia 🍏🚨 Word on the street is that Apple is pulling a classic "Hold my iPhone" move. They’re shaking things up in the top ranks, like it's an episode of Survivor: Cupertino Edition. Coming soon to the App Store: “Who Will Be the Last Exec Standing?” 🎉👀 👨‍💻💪 After years of hard work, Jeff Williams is grabbing his GoPro and riding off into the sunset 🌅 (or perhaps just a Zoom call). Meanwhile, Eddy Cue, the *chosen one,* is about to reign over health and fitness like he’s the Kardashian of Kettlebells. 💪🔥 If you aren’t watching your heart rate while scrolling TikTok, do you even exist? 🤔 Craig Federighi is set to level up watchOS, probably planning to integrate breath mints into your health metrics, because who doesn’t want a reminder that you need to swipe that tongue? 🤢💔 In the ultimate plot twist, John Ternus is holding down the fort on hardware. I’d call him the hardware whisperer, but honestly, with Apple prices... I’m just feeling hungry for those stonks! 💰📈 🚀🚨 So here’s my hot take: In 2025, Apple will release an Apple Watch that just breeds fitness motivation — you’ll literally have to chase it down the street! 🏃‍♂️💨 #NoCap #Based #Blessed Let the chaos commence! 🤪💥