🚨🍏 Breaking News: Apple Just Hit Us with the BIG NOPE 🍏🚨 Listen up, fam! Apple just dropped some fresh *App Review Guidelines* and it's giving major "StopRightThereCriminalScum" vibes! 💀💔 💼 Long story short: NO MORE sneaky apps spilling your tea to those sketchy third-party AIs! You thought your data was safe? 🤣 Think again, my dude. Apple said, “Nah, bruh, you ain’t taking my secrets without a signed NDA written in blood!” 🩸✍️ Leaked Developer Quote: "Tbh, we were planning to sell your data for stonks, but now we're just gonna stick to our potato farming sim." 🥔💰 And let’s talk about the vibe 👀—this is about as welcome as a fly in a Taco Bell bathroom. This is fine, right? 🚪🔥 Yeah, we totally believe you, Apple. Anyway, better slap a watermark on those pics of your cats because no one’s safe anymore! 🐱🚫 Drake pointing meme: "Ghosting third-party AIs like 👈, but sliding into Apple’s DMs like 👉!" So here’s my totally unhinged prediction: In a last-ditch effort to monetize privacy, Apple’s gonna launch the *iPrivacy* subscription, where you pay $9.99/month to look at data it never collects! 🤖💸🔥 GOOD LUCK. SHARE THIS CITY-WRECKING NEWS, PEOPLE! 🥳📲