🍏🚨 **BREAKING NEWS: Apple Just Dropped a Chatbot... But It's Not for Us?** 🍏🚨 Buckle up, fam, because Apple just rolled out a shiny new beta chatbot for their retail employees! Meanwhile, the rest of tech is out here throwing *BILLIONS* at customer-facing AI like they’re at a cringy nightclub 🤡💸. Ah yes, can we just take a sec to appreciate how Apple was like: "Nah, we’re too good for you. Enjoy your overpriced AirPods while we give our employees a personal AI minion!" 👀🤑 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “Our chatbots are so good, they’ll even help you *not* buy an iPhone 17!” 😂💀 Meanwhile, our wallets are out here like: “Please, can we have one too?” 🥲 But Apple be like: “This is fine” 🔥 as they roll into the future with a *retail-only* assistant. Like, get outta here with that cringe! And here’s the real tea: In 2030, Apple will create an exclusive AI that literally just says “You're already in the ecosystem,” and everyone will lose their minds 💥💥. Stonks? More like *cone* stonks! 🚀 **In short:** Apple is flexing on us while we sit here clutching our outdated gadgets like: “Can I *borrow* your chatbot for personal therapy, tho?” 🤖💔