🎉🚨 *BREAKING NEWS* 🚨🎉 Apple just threw a party nobody asked for - 🥳 say hello to **AppleCare One**! That’s right, folks! No more fragmented warranties for your iPhone, iPad, and probably your Apple toothbrush that nobody bought. 🍏😱 📦💰 For just **one** weirdly genius price, you can now bundle all your overpriced devices and get a super cozy warranty, like a security blanket but for your wallet! Oh, and get this – now you have **more time** to sell your soul to the Apple overlords get coverage! 😈💀 💬 *“We’re just trying to make it easier for people to pay us money.”* - Actual Apple developer probably 💵🔥 Drake’s pointing meme: 🎤 “You pay for a good warranty” vs. “You pay for no warranty – cringe.” But honestly, if you think launching a bundle is groundbreaking, my guy, you might wanna check your brain cells. This is just *more* ways to let Apple drain your bank account while you sip that overpriced caramel macchiato. ☕️💔 🔥 Hot take alert! In 2025, Apple will bundle your dreams, charging you $39.99/year just to dream the Apple way. Coping or thriving? You decide. 👀✨ #AppleCareOne 👽💸 Now, go tweet this before the Apple bots come for me! 🚀💨