🚨🎉 BREAKING NEWS: APPLE IS CASHING IN ON YOUR HOUSE! 💰🚪💀 So apparently, Apple is tired of just selling overpriced fruit-shaped rectangles 🍏📱. They’re stepping into the Big Bad World of Home Security™ to compete with the likes of Ring and Nest. Because, ya know, who needs privacy when you can spend $10,000 on a camera that looks like it’s judging you? 🤖👀 According to Bloomberg (the snooze fest nobody asked for 🥱), Apple is gonna unleash a swarm of AI-powered security gadgets. Think iCamera that can detect when you’re trying to sneak an extra snack after midnight 🍕👀. Leak from an "insider" (totally not just a random guy in a basement) is that Apple will call it "iSecurity" — like that's not the most unimaginative name ever. "Yeah, dude, we’re going for ‘luxury surveillance’," says the guy who thinks having an iPad in the bathroom is peak tech usage. 🤦‍♂️ But let’s be real. Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically 🤓💻. Apple’s whole vibe screams, “I’m tracking you, but at least I look good doing it.” 🍏🔐 Here’s a hot take: **Next year, all Apple devices will have a “Stay Away” feature, where they call the cops when they detect your ex trying to drop by!** 🚨😱 Share this with your fellow meme lords! This is the chaos we need in 2023! Let’s get it trending. 🌟🔥