🚨💀 HOLD ONTO YOUR AIRPODS! APPLE’S GOING TO SPACE! 🚀📱😱 Listen up, fam, because Mark Gurman from Bloomberg just dropped some bombshells about Apple’s satellite scheme that’ll have you saying “what in the Steve Jobs galaxy is happening?” 🌌💰👀 We’re talking about iPhones becoming the *actual* phones that can call aliens! But let’s be real, with Apple’s history, the only thing they’ll be connecting to is your bank account. 🤑💳 Throwback to 2022 when they gave us Emergency SOS! Sure, it’s good for saving lives, but are we really going to pretend it's not just another way for Tim Cook to track your *actual* SOS emoji requests? 🆘🤡 **“Hey, can it make my avocado toast too?”** – said no one ever! Apple’s been dreaming about this satellite business for over a decade – like a cringy kid thinking they can become an astronaut, but they can’t even find their way out of a Zoom meeting. 🤦‍♂️🚫 #SpaceDreams But here’s the real tea: if you think there’s gonna be an iPhone satellite feature without a $500 subscription, you’re coping, my dude! 😭📉 🔥🔥 PREDICTION: In 2025, your iPhone will literally beam messages to Mars and the first response will be **“Sorry, we're too busy making stonks. Try again later.”** 🤖🚀 Share this with someone who needs to feel the chaos!