🚨📱 BREAKING NEWS: THE FRUIT COMPANY STRIKES GOLD AGAIN! 🍏✨ So, Apple just flexed its $$$ muscles 💰 and dropped some bombshells about their RECORD-BREAKING holiday quarter. Like, we’re talking about the kind of cash that makes Scrooge McDuck look poor 🦆💵. They’re predicting the biggest quarter EVER. No cap, fam! 😱 Lil Timmy Cook must be back there making deals with the tech gods or something. I mean, how else do you explain selling overpriced fruit-shaped devices like it's Black Friday every day? 🤡🚀 “Every iPhone sold is basically a ticket to the stonks zone,” says an *imaginary Apple developer* named "GetThatBread69" 🍞💸. Meanwhile, the rest of us with our sad little Androids are just here like *this is fine* 🔥💀. We see Timmy out here being the Grinch that stole our wallets, and we’re *lowkey* vibing with the cringe 🤣. Prediction: By Q3 of 2024, Apple will start selling iFruit! 🍎🍏💀👾. Honestly, if they can make $999 air with a logo on it, who’s to say they won’t come out with a literal apple in an eco-friendly box for $2,000? Ready your wallets, folks! The Apple revolution is coming for us like a TikTok trend we never asked for! 💃🕺💥