🚨🍏 BREAKING APPLE NEWS! 🍏🚨 So, Apple just dropped its four-year high revenue like it’s the hottest mixtape of 2023. 📈💰 Y’all, iPhone sales skyrocketed 🛸 like it’s a futuristic rocket fueled by sheer hype and overpriced coffee! ☕️💸 Who knew that slapping “pro” on a slab of aluminum would boost sales by 13%? 🤖💦 “BASED! Can't believe people are buying the same phone every year,” said Tim Cook (probably). But fr fr, they’re raking in cash while we’re all out here with our cracked-screen iPhone 7s like this: (Drake pointing meme 🥴💔). IDC if you’re still using your old phone—Apple PR is stacking those coins like they’re in the Stonks meme! 💵🔥 And just wait till the iPhone 15 drops—ONE MORE CAMERA and the stock price might just hit the moon, my dudes! 🚀💥 Can’t wait for the next update where they finally allow us to customize icons... oh wait, nope! COPE! 🙃 Prediction: In 2024, Apple will release an $800 toaster that syncs with your iPhone. This is fine. 🎉🍞🔥🥵 Share if you’re ready to melt your savings on the next shiny brick! 💔✨