🚨🍏🤑 “HOLD UP! We’ve got some serious tech-tion going on this week and YOU don’t wanna miss out! 😱 The new M5 iPad Pro just hit the shelves like it’s the hottest mixtape of 2023, and it’s ready to ruin your bank account. 💸🔥💀 But here’s the tea, fam: When Apple drops new toys, they practically give away older ones like free samples at Costco. 🛒💥 #Stonks 👀 So, if you’re still rocking that iPhone 12 like it’s some vintage wine 🍷, prepare to get roasted! The price of last-gen products is about to crash harder than my self-esteem after a Tinder date. 💔😂 Swipe left on full price, because we’re rounding up the juiciest Apple deals since sliced bread. 🤤🥖 LOL, I can almost hear a developer saying, “You want new features? Enjoy this buggy update and pray!” 🤖💬 Or the intern getting roasted for suggesting a “different color for the iPhone.” Drake is busy pointing at all the upgrades while we’re out here running our wallets into the ground. 😩💀 ⚡ Hot take: Apple is gonna release an iPhone that folds into a pair of AirPods next. Mark my words, it’s gonna be the new meme template we never asked for! 😅🚀💥 #ChaosInTech”