🚨🍏 Breaking News from Apple HQ: Inclusivity or Just a Marketing Scheme? 🥴💸 Alright, fam, listen up! Apple is over here throwing out health features like candy at a parade 🎉, but let’s not get it twisted—no cap, they did it after *deciding* to lock away the juicy stuff for their latest shiny toy, the iPhone 17. You know the vibes. 🤨💔 🍏🧑‍⚕️ "We’re just being inclusive!” they say, while simultaneously whispering sweet nothings about dual capture video being a *new* thing just for the latest iPhone. Yikes! That’s not inclusion; that’s *"We’re gonna milk this until it stops uddering!”* 🚜🥛 But hold up! They’ve decided to grace us plebs with new health features for older devices. 🤯 It’s like Apple looked at the iPhone 11, dropped a “Hello, fellow kids!” meme, and thought, “Let’s not leave the current owners who already spent their entire paycheck behind!” A leaked convo from a dev? “Dude, if we don’t do this, people might just start using third-party apps like they're… useful or something.” 🤡🔥 So here’s the tea: Apple’s just trying to keep us all *alive* while secretly planning a future where they can charge us $1,000 for the “Apple Heart Attack Prevention” app. 🔥🔥🔥 Hot take: In 2025, Apple will release an “iPacemaker.” Total stonks. Don’t forget where you heard it first! 🌌🚀💰 #MemeTheFuture #AppleOrNah 🍏💀