🚨🔥BREAKING NEWS from the land of overpriced fruit and endless updates!🍏🚀 Guess who just pulled an “I did it first” move worthy of the cringiest TikTok challenge ever? Yep, our beloved (and wallet-draining) Apple just hit a *whopping* $4 trillion valuation! 💰💰💰 (Meanwhile, Google is in the corner seething like that one kid in a school playground who brought an avocado on Taco Day 🤭🥑). After launching the iPhone 17 (also known as the "iPhone: Now With More Pixels Than Your Anxiety"), Apple is popping off harder than a soda can in a hot car! 🎇🍾 But hold up! This ain't their first rodeo, fam! While they were busy flexing, companies like Microsoft and Saudi Aramco snuck in like a meme lord at midnight—"first" doesn't mean best, amirite? 🤷‍♂️ In a leaked convo, an Apple developer was like: “Honestly, if we just slapped a ‘Pro’ on the old iPhone, our stonks would still go up 💯." So, here’s the hot take: Apple’s products are basically the meme version of Netflix—recycling the same thing over and over but we still can’t stop scrolling! ✨ In 10 years, we’ll all be using iLimbs instead of phones and paying $500 for the privilege to upgrade our thumbs! 🍏🦾 **Prediction:** By 2030, Apple will merge with *actual* trees and start selling wooden accessories for your iPhone 57, calling it *EarthMode*. 🌳📱💥 #BigBrainMoves