🚨🍏 BREAKING: AppleCare One is here, and it’s about to *Phantom Menace* your wallet! 💸🔥 That's right, fam! For just $20/month, you can now cover up to THREE of your beloved Apple gadgets under one plan. Because who doesn’t want to fork over money for a subscription to protect the shiny toaster on their countertop? 😂📱💻 Here’s the new deal: If you’re feeling fancy and want to add even more devices—because, honestly, who has self-control?—it’s an additional $6/month PER device. So buckle up, folks, your bank account is about to do some *stock market crash* type summer saults! 📉💰💀 And hey, remember when AppleCare+ was just for crash prevention? 2011 was a simpler time—much like your last good decision before getting a subscription to Apple’s “infinite” abyss of products! 🕳️👀 This just in: Anonymous Apple Developer quoted, “It’s like selling air. But, you know, like, premium air? 🤷‍♂️” In conclusion, if you’re not paying for AppleCare One, are you even living? 🤔💔 Just kidding! You’re probably better off saving that cash for some actual therapy! 🚀🌌 Hot take: In the future, Apple will charge monthly fees to breathe in their stores. #BreatheEasy 💨💵✨