🚨🛡️ BREAKING: The Cult of Cupertino Strikes Again! 🍏👀 Introducing the *NEW* AppleCare One! For just $20/month, you can now cover THREE of your prized Apple devices—yes, the ones you already sold a kidney to buy! 💸👀 "What’s next? AppleCare for your soul?" you might ask. Well, at this point, I'm not surprised. The only care we’re getting is AppleCare 🤡🔥. But wait, there's more! Add additional devices for only $5.99 👀, aka the perfect price to keep your iPhone, iPad, and Macbook alive... while they slowly drain your bank account like a solar eclipse! 🌒💀 LEAKED DEVELOPER QUOTE: “Why give them a single device? MULTI-DEVICE SUPPORT IS A STONKS MOMENT! 🚀💰” Meanwhile, Apple’s secret plan is to make us feel like we need to buy yet another overpriced adapter just to survive on this planet. This is the *This Is Fine* meme IRL, fam. 🔥😅 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: In 2025, AppleCare will evolve into a subscription that NOT ONLY covers repairs but also sends you AIRBUD, An AI therapist for when your device battery dies mid-TikTok! 🤖💔 Remember, folks: Stay based, stay slaying, and don’t let your devices off gaslight you! 💯🙌 #AppleCareConspiracy #ThisIsFine