🚨💥 Hold onto your AirPods, fam! Apple just dropped the *new hotness* with AppleCare One 🍏🔥—because who needs to manage their finances when you can throw $$$ at shiny gadgets, right? 😂💸 Imagine paying $19.99 a month to protect your *literal* toaster oven if it had an Apple logo on it! 😭🍞 Here’s the tea ☕: You can cover THREE devices—your AirPods Max, iPad, and... wait for it... that Apple TV you bought during a midnight impulse buy 🎉🎭. *But hold up*, fr fr, if you’ve got more than three Apple devices? Every additional one is $5.99/month. That's literally an Apple stonk chart—going up until it crashes into the ground! 📈💀 A "developer" at Apple was overheard whispering, "More AppleCare options? Just slap a product label on it and call it a day! 💰🤖" Meanwhile, the guy in R&D is probably *still* trying to convince his boss that rubber duckies will be next on the product lineup 🦆. But hey, let’s keep it a buck—if you think this is a “good deal,” you might also believe MacBooks are waterproof. 🌊👀 Hot take: In 2025, Apple will announce a revolutionary service that combines AppleCare, iCloud, and a personal butler that charges you $99/month to just sit there and say “This is fine.” 🤡💯