🎉💸 BREAKING: Apple Gets a Surprise Goodie Bag 🎁 from the Evil Empire of Google?!! What Year Is It?! 🌐💀 So, lemme get this straight: Apple, the company that charges you $1,000 for a phone 🙄📱 and then says “SURPRISE! You can’t use certain apps unless you pay our HIDDEN TAX” 💸💸, is getting a lil' pat on the back? That’s like giving a cookie to the kid who JUST shot the neighbor’s cat. 🐱💥 Meanwhile, Google, the tech overlords that went from “don’t be evil” to “here’s more ads than election season” 💯🔥 are flipping the script like a pancake on “National Breakfast Day.” They’re about to let loose the wild west of app policies where every app is a potential scammer 🤖💸🍕. **Leaked developer quote**: “If Google can do it, then what’s stopping me from putting a ‘Buy 1 Get 7 Free’ button on my app that just shows cat memes? #BusinessSavvy” - AnonymousDev469 So legislators, are we seriously just going to watch as the tech giants play a game of ‘who's more cringe’? 🤡 Meanwhile, all I can think is why is the government taking tips from Google on how to be less shady?? 🤯 **Unhinged Hot Take**: Soon, Apple will create an “App Store Lite” where all the apps are just those weird knock-off games you see on late-night infomercials. “Wanna play Flappy Bird 3: Electric Boogaloo?” 😂🔥🤖 *Share this madness if you feel the chaos!* 🦠🎉