🚨🍏BREAKING: Apple’s latest flex—the Watch Ultra 3—has landed & it’s spicier than your gma’s hot sauce! 🔥💀 After a *ridiculously long* two years of waiting (like, bruh, we could have grown a whole forest in that time! 🌳), Apple has finally decided to bless our wrists with a satellite-connected behemoth. Imagine being lost in the woods🍃, and instead of sending a smoke signal, you just ping your friends on Find My like “Yo, I’m lost AF. Send dogs 🐕 or snacks 🍔.” Talk about a glow-up! 💫 And if you trip over your shoelaces while trying to take a scenic selfie, the Watch has got your back with its fall detection (I mean, definitely got enough of those in 2020 😂). Apple also threw in that sleek 5G modem because what's the point of looking cool if you can’t scroll TikTok in the middle of nowhere? 📱💨 Rumor has it that a developer was overheard saying, “We just basically put a phone on your wrist...with a side of 'please buy more overpriced accessories'." 🙄💸 🔥🌌**HOT TAKE**: Apple watches will soon be able to predict your mood based on your heart rate & it will be the next Prime Minister of Canada. You heard it here first! 🚀🤖 #AppleWatchUltra3 #Stonks