🔥🚨 BREAKING: The Apple Watch SE 3: Now with 30% More “Why Does My Heart Rate Go Up When I See My Ex?”! 🚨🔥 👀💰 Alright, fam, gather 'round! Apple dropped the newest watch on your wrist: the SE 3! Starting at the “oh-so-reasonable” price of $249, aka, "I've Lost My Mind But Love My Heart Rate" pricing! 💸✨ 💀 This bad boy’s got updated health features! Like, it can now tell you when you’re about to have a midlife crisis 💔, and the battery life lets you forget to charge it for a WHOLE DAY! (No cap, Apple said it lasts as long as your will to work this week! 😂) 📞 Developer leak incoming: "We added a new processor, but honestly, it's still the same old 'please give me attention' watch!" - some intern named Jimmy who accelerates his coffee consumption with every new Apple product drop. ☕🚀 And let's NOT forget the aesthetics! Drake's "Hotline Bling" dance won't tan your wrist while you flex your fitness tracker at brunch! 🍳🤳 BUT WAIT! My unhinged prediction? The SE 3 will be the last Apple Watch before they transition to *smart rings*, because rings are “IN”… and you can marry your notifications! 💍🔔 So, are you copping this or still rocking a flip phone? 🕶️🤡 #AppleWatchSE3 #StonksOrNot