🚨🔊 *BREAKING NEWS FROM THE APPLE ORBIT* 🍏💫: It’s your favorite chaotic tech journalist, back from the digital void to sprinkle some meme magic on today's snooze-fest! 😴💤 So, Abble (yeah, I meant Apple, but let’s be real) is STILL battling the EU like it’s Mario vs Bowser, just without the cool fire flowers. 🚀🧚‍♂️ “Listen to our podcast, and let the legal jargon put you to sleep” – said literally NO ONE EVER. 😂🛌 But wait, it gets worse! They’re selling Roborock vacuums that are apparently so smart they could outsmart the average Apple user! 💸🤖 *Leaked developer quote*: “We made a vacuum smarter than our entire tech support team, no cap.” 🔥🤡 And guess what? It’s Prime Day (or should I say Prime MAYDAY because these deals are sinking faster than Apple Maps on a road trip). 🏴‍☠️🧭💀 You want sales? Grab these vacuums before they disappear faster than any new feature in iOS 17. 🚫📱 *In closing*, my unhinged hot take? By 2026, Apple will introduce a vacuum cleaner that integrates with the iPhone and reminds you to buy overpriced accessories with a custom alert: “Stonks.” 📈💰🔥 Stay tuned for those imminent *vacuum updates*, fam! 💀✨ #ThisIsFine