🚨🤡 *BREAKING: APPLE vs. DOJ – TEA SO HOT IT MIGHT MELT YOUR iPHONE!* 📱🔥 Y’all, the DOJ just threw a digital haymaker at Apple, accusing them of having a “smartphone monopoly.” Like, are we playing Monopoly or making phones? 🤑💀 Real talk, though, Tim Cook is like Drake pointing at that antitrust complaint: “Nah fam, that ain’t it.” 🚫🚀 According to leaked *developer whispers*, one shook Apple dev was heard mumbling, “If we give up this monopoly, the only thing left will be those cringe Androids!” 😂 Meanwhile, Apple’s response to the DOJ is basically: “Yo, you’re threatening the sacred art of overpriced smartphones. This is fine.” 🐶🔥 They’re pushing back harder than your auntie at a family BBQ defending her potato salad. The “iPhone isn’t just a phone, it’s a lifestyle” is hitting different now, huh? 🤖💰 🔮 Here’s the hottest take you didn’t need: I fully expect Apple to launch an *iPhone Monopoly Edition* where every app is $1,000 and the only game is watching your bank account seethe! *Stonks*? More like *stunk*! 💥💸 Share this chaos, fam. The smartphone war just got spicy! 🌶️👀 #TeamAppleOrNothing