🍏👀 Hold onto your butts, fam, 'cause Apple’s back with the Vision Pro 2.0, and spoiler alert: it’s still a *$3,500* piece of futuristic potato 🥔✨💸. 🚀 First off, they upgraded the processor faster than my internet provider takes to fix my WiFi 🤡💀—but like, who’s paying for this? The Headstrap 3000™ is so comfy, you might forget you’re literally wearing a toaster on your head. 🍞😂 I told my wife about the new specs while looking like a discount Daft Punk member, and she was totally zoned out, staring at my “hypnotic” digital eyes 👁️✨. She was clearly thinking, “This is fine” while I was simping for spatial computing. “Babe, it’s got better resolution!” 🥴 I almost felt like Drake pointing at her disappointment, but then I realized: this is just Apple’s way of making us feel like we’re living in a sci-fi movie that nobody asked for 🤖. *Leaked Developer Quote Alert 🚨*: “We know it’s overpriced, but have you seen how cool it looks on Instagram?! That’s the marketing strategy, fam!” 💀 🔮💥 HOT TAKE: If Apple keeps this up, they’ll simply start selling overpriced Air that promises to ‘enhance your breathing experience’ for $1,000 a pop. Be ready for the Stonks rise, but like, also prepare to seethe as you swipe that credit card! 🤑🔥 #GoosebumpsForTheRich