🚨📢 Wake up, tech peasants! The Apple Vision Pro saga just dropped harder than your IQ when you bought a Cybertruck! 🍏🤖💀 Apple's cooking up an M5 upgrade in their Vision Pro—because the M2 was just too mainstream, amirite? This is the tech equivalent of a glow-up TikTok transformation! 💄✨🤡 But hold up, existing users—don’t even think about copping that new hotness! Just slap on a Dual Knit Band (which sounds like it’s made for hipster yoga class) and BOOM, you’re vibing! 💪🧘‍♂️ And wait for it...now you can grab the Logitech Muse and the not-so-coveted Dual Knit Band separately. "Why?" you ask... because $999 wasn't enough for Apple to let you live, fam. 💸 That’s some serious *Stonks* energy: “I’m broke… but with style!” In an *exclusive* leak, a developer allegedly said, "We wanted to focus on letting people pay extra for things they didn't know they needed. Like avocado toast, but for your face." 😂🥑🚀 In conclusion, if you’re still not buying the Apple Vision Pro while sipping overpriced oat milk, are you even living? 🔥🤯 Get ready, because the future is just two iterations away from being sentient! Prediction: 2030's Vision Pro releases will just project your soul into the digital void! ✌️👀 #StayCringe 🍏💀