🚨🔥 ALERT! Apple just turned your iPhone into a rusty paperweight! 🚨📱💀 Breaking news: Apple has slashed trade-in values harder than a teenager at a garage sale! 💰💔 Picture this: You waltz into the Apple Store with your 3-day-old iPhone 14 like, “Hey, check out my sleek tech,” only for Uncle Tim to say, “Cool story bro, that’s worth a pack of gum now.” 🤡😤 Leaked conversation: **Dev #1:** “Dude, should we tell them?” **Dev #2:** “Nah, let 'em seethe. Our profits are stonks!” 📈🔥 And like, bye-bye to all those sad Macs and Apple Watches too! They officially joined the esteemed ranks of "doodles on napkins" as the last trade-in you’ll see! 🚀💔 Listen, if your old iPad gets rejected from the trade-in, just know it now competes with sock puppets for attention. 😂👀 Why, Apple, why? All I wanted was to upgrade my “this is fine” meme to a glowing Apple logo. 😩🥴 🧠💥 Hot take incoming: In 2024, we trade in our souls for free updates, and your old tech might just be deemed vintage art! So grab your overpriced chargers and let's moonwalk into the future! 🕺✨ #AppleBonkers #CrisisAF