🚨🍏 HOLY APPLE! 🍏🚨 Did you hear? Apple just dropped a casual $100 BILLION like it’s a new iPhone color!!! 💸💸 But wait, what’s this?! It’s all a scheme to dodge tariffs like that one friend dodging responsibility for their bad decisions. 🤡🌍 So basically, while the rest of us are out here trying to cope with rising gas prices and waiting for our student loans to magically disappear, Tim Cook's literally rolling in stonks 💎📈💀. “Today, we’re proud to increase our investments across the United States,” says Tim, probably while sipping on the tears of Android users. *Cue the DJ Khaled “Another One” meme!* 🔥 The U.S. is getting a sprinkle of tech magic with Apple’s investment now totaling $600 billion. This is basically the “I support American jobs” flex while quietly dodging that spicy 50% tariff on oil from Russia. Guess who’s winning? Not your bank account. 😩 **“Just put it in the USA, bro!”** - Imaginary Apple Developer 😂🤣 Listen up, fam: Apple is playing chess while we’re out here playing checkers. 🤯🚀 Mark my words, if they keep this up, the next iPhone will have a built-in coffee maker and cost 2 million dollars. ☕️📱🔥 #AppleTaxDodge #Terrawho? #InvestInChaos