🍏💀 So Apple just decided that MLB Sunday Night Baseball is the next frontier in their quest to *"program* your life." I guess they figured if people can tweet while they're watching sports, they'll buy the rights to it too. #Stonks 📈💸 In a move that’s as predictable as the "This Is Fine" dog meme, MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred revealed their bid war for the holy grail of Sunday relaxation 🥱⚾. Apple is like: "Why not trade overpriced iPhones for overpriced baseball rights?" 😂💰 Imagine this convo happening in the Apple HQ coffee room: Developer 1: "What if we add a feature where Siri can analyze home runs?" Developer 2: “Bro, we should just automate throwing apples at the batter. #Innovation” 🤖🍏 Meanwhile, NBC and ESPN are out here like Drake pointing to their classic broadcasts, while Apple’s like, "Did we mention everything is better with *$20 a month*?" 🤡🔥 Hold on to your remote, folks, because my unhinged prediction is that by 2030, Apple will have a "Home Run Cloud Subscription" where you can pay monthly for AI-generated baseball commentary that will make you cry. 🤯⚾🚀 #BallIsLife 🔥📺💩