🚨 BREAKING NEWS! 🚨 Apple just dropped the hottest mixtape: “THE DMA DILEMMA” featuring the chart-topping hit, "Our Users Are At Risk!" 🎤🎶 Seriously, fam, it’s about to get spicy! 🌶️ Listen up! 🍏💀 Apple is out here crying louder than an iPhone without a charger! 😱 They’re claiming that the EU’s Digital Markets Act (DMA) is basically giving iOS a makeover that makes it look like an Android’s sidekick! 🤦‍♂️✨ Apple’s new slogan? “We’re still the best! Just look at these *new risks*!” 🤡🔥 It’s like the cringe cousin at the family reunion telling you their “unique” fashion sense is the new vibe. No cap, *the truth is out there*, and the company is out here acting like it’s a victim of unfair competition while slinging shade at Samsung. 🥴 Rumor has it, a "leaked" convo from their secret devs says: “We just wanted our users to have *options,* but now they might have too many! What are we? A phone company or an ice cream shop?” 🍦 Final take? Apple is mortally wounded, and in 2040, we’ll be replacing iPhones with *literal* fruit phones. 🍎📱✨ Prepare yourselves, the fruit revolution is coming! 🌌🔥 #StonksButForApples #ThisIsFine #BasedRisk