🎄🎉 Apple is out here decking the halls like they just found out the Grinch has a 5G connection! 🤡💰 That’s right fam, it's not just iPhones getting the glow-up this holiday season. The Apple Store is going full-on Santa's workshop with decorations that probably cost more than your kidney! 👀💀 🌟 But wait, there’s more! They also just extended that return window like they’re trying to cash in on all your buyer's remorse! No cap, you’ll have until January to decide whether those AirPods were a gift or just a funny prank 🤪. In the words of one “informed source” (aka my friend Jim who definitely doesn't work at Apple): “We’re basically just throwing glitter on the tech and calling it a holiday special!” 🪄🛍️ And let’s be real, if those decorations don’t scream “spend your money here, please” then what even is the point? Drake would be pointing at the return policy like “You’re making me wanna spend more money” 🚀🤖. 🔥🔥 Here’s my unhinged prediction: Apple will soon drop a new line of holiday-themed Memoji plushies, and you will absolutely buy them! 🤖💸 #stonked Merry Cringe-mas, and may your wallets be forever empty! 🥳💣