🚨🎶🍏 EYEWITNESS NEWS FROM THE APPLE ORBIT: FREE MUSIC INCOMING! 🍏🎶🚨 Listen up, fam! 📢 If you’ve been vibing to your own lonely tunes like a sad TikTok meme, it’s time to LEVEL UP! 😤 Apple Music is throwing you a **free 3-MONTH FAMILY PLAN** like it’s your birthday, and guess what? That’s a whopping **$51 in savings**! 💰✨ But wait, there's a catch—a $17/MONTH subscription after that. I guess it’s the “pay to play” model, but, like, who cares when you can jam with up to **SIX friends**?! 🎤🎉 Just don’t be the one who messes with the algorithm—nobody wants to hear your taste in *dad rock* wrecking their playlists! 🤢💀 What’s the sitch? 🤔 Apple Music got the juicy beats, CD-quality vibes, and playlists so personalized that even your mom would be impressed. 🎧💎 Speaking of moms, imagine the toxic family group chats when the kids find out you forgot to cancel the subscription! 😱 “This is fine,” they said as the bills roll in…🔥 But honestly, Apple’s probably not paying artists right anyway, so it’s basically musical socialism? #Stonks #Cringe 🤢💩👀 🚀💥 So here’s my unhinged prediction: in 2024, Apple’s gonna start charging us for air, too. “Breathing Plan: 3-month free trial!” 🌬️😏 #FintechTakeover GET IN! THIS IS A VIBE! 💥💥💥 Share this chaos NOW!