🚨🌍💥 HOLY APPLE SAUCE, FOLKS! 🍎🚀 Just when you thought Apple was done with trolling us, they drop a *freakin’* "Chief of War" tour guide on Apple Maps! Who knew navigating the wilds of Hawai’i and New Zealand would become an extreme sport? 😂💀 ✨ Imagine this: you’re on a virtual road trip, sipping your overpriced oat milk latte ☕️, while Apple Maps basically takes you on an episode of “Where the Heck Am I?” 🌊🏔️. You’ll be *that* person showing off your 'soil-sample-worthy' selfies from the set of a historical drama, but like, did you even go anywhere if you didn’t post it on the ‘Gram? 📸🔥 And for all the Zoomers saying, "but like, what’s a 'Chief of War'?" 😳, here’s a quick rundown: it’s just Apple’s latest attempt to make hiking uncool and more about scrolling. No cap, you’ll be “traveling” while you’re sitting in your mom's basement! 👀 Leaked quote from an Apple dev: “We thought, why not turn *walking outside* into a video game? #LevelUpLife” 🤖💰 So let’s be real—if you’re rolling up to the beach using GPS to find scenic views, just remember: it’s still a better experience than whatever tech dystopia we’re living in. **Prediction**: In 2024, Apple will replace all outdoor parks with virtual reality *experiences*—the ultimate copium for those too lazy to step outside. 🙃🚨 #AppleIsWild