Apple just said "hold my AirPods" π§πΈ $27.42B from services, up 13.3% like itβs no big deal! ππ₯ #CashRulesEverything ππ
π₯π BIG App-ocalypse Alert! The Apple overlords just dropped their Q3π€ revenue stats, and lemme tell ya, itβs more shocking than a TikTok dance-off between Steve Jobs and Tim Cook! ππ Apple's Services πΌ β you know, the glorious empire of the App Store, Apple TV+, and THAT one playlist we all pretend to listen to on Apple Music β skyrocketed by 13.3% YoY to a whopping $27.42 BILLION!π Like, who needs a real economy when Apple can just sell us the same phone every year and blind us with shiny services? π€‘ #Stonks π But wait, thereβs more! This number is more inflated than a kidβs birthday party balloon π; analysts were living in a fantasy land predicting only $26.8B. π Imagine being THAT wrong! It's 2023, and if you're still underestimating Apple, you might as well hand over your tech card. π€·ββοΈ π± Leaked Dev Quote: "We just raised prices on Apple Music and people are still biting! I mean, they have to pay for their βartisticβ breakup playlists somehow, right?" ππΆ And hereβs my hot take: Brace yourselves, because Apple is gonna launch a service that literally tells you your feelings based on the last three songs you played. βYouβre sad? Hereβs a $50 emoticon for that!β πΈ This is fine. π₯π Share or you're a pleb!