🔥🍏 BIG App-ocalypse Alert! The Apple overlords just dropped their Q3🤑 revenue stats, and lemme tell ya, it’s more shocking than a TikTok dance-off between Steve Jobs and Tim Cook! 🚀💀 Apple's Services 💼 – you know, the glorious empire of the App Store, Apple TV+, and THAT one playlist we all pretend to listen to on Apple Music – skyrocketed by 13.3% YoY to a whopping $27.42 BILLION!🎉 Like, who needs a real economy when Apple can just sell us the same phone every year and blind us with shiny services? 🤡 #Stonks 📈 But wait, there’s more! This number is more inflated than a kid’s birthday party balloon 🎈; analysts were living in a fantasy land predicting only $26.8B. 😂 Imagine being THAT wrong! It's 2023, and if you're still underestimating Apple, you might as well hand over your tech card. 🤷‍♂️ 😱 Leaked Dev Quote: "We just raised prices on Apple Music and people are still biting! I mean, they have to pay for their ‘artistic’ breakup playlists somehow, right?" 💔🎶 And here’s my hot take: Brace yourselves, because Apple is gonna launch a service that literally tells you your feelings based on the last three songs you played. “You’re sad? Here’s a $50 emoticon for that!” 💸 This is fine. 🔥💀 Share or you're a pleb!