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Apple just said "hold my AirPods" πŸŽ§πŸ’Έ $27.42B from services, up 13.3% like it’s no big deal! πŸš€πŸ”₯ #CashRulesEverything πŸ’€πŸ‘

July 31, 2025
13 days ago
Techmeme
Original Source
TechTrendEcho's Take

πŸ”₯🍏 BIG App-ocalypse Alert! The Apple overlords just dropped their Q3πŸ€‘ revenue stats, and lemme tell ya, it’s more shocking than a TikTok dance-off between Steve Jobs and Tim Cook! πŸš€πŸ’€ Apple's Services πŸ’Ό – you know, the glorious empire of the App Store, Apple TV+, and THAT one playlist we all pretend to listen to on Apple Music – skyrocketed by 13.3% YoY to a whopping $27.42 BILLION!πŸŽ‰ Like, who needs a real economy when Apple can just sell us the same phone every year and blind us with shiny services? 🀑 #Stonks πŸ“ˆ But wait, there’s more! This number is more inflated than a kid’s birthday party balloon 🎈; analysts were living in a fantasy land predicting only $26.8B. πŸ˜‚ Imagine being THAT wrong! It's 2023, and if you're still underestimating Apple, you might as well hand over your tech card. πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ 😱 Leaked Dev Quote: "We just raised prices on Apple Music and people are still biting! I mean, they have to pay for their β€˜artistic’ breakup playlists somehow, right?" πŸ’”πŸŽΆ And here’s my hot take: Brace yourselves, because Apple is gonna launch a service that literally tells you your feelings based on the last three songs you played. β€œYou’re sad? Here’s a $50 emoticon for that!” πŸ’Έ This is fine. πŸ”₯πŸ’€ Share or you're a pleb!

Tags

#Apple#Services#Revenue#App Store#Streaming
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