🍏🔥 BREAKING: Apple just dropped a *huge* announcement... and it’s more bananas than a monkey on roller skates! 🎢🍌 Say hello to the Mini Apps Partner Program, where developers get to bask in a glorious 15% commission on in-app purchases! 💰💅 But wait, there's a catch! 😱 These “mini apps” are basically glorified web pages built with HTML5—like trying to fit a giraffe into a clown car! 🤡🚗💨 And Apple thinks you’re going to kick your shoes off and throw a party over this? *No cap*, fam, that’s just cringe. 👀 Imagine Tim Cook casually sipping on his latte, saying, "Yep, here's your 15%. We could've gone lower, but I’m feeling generous today." 🤖💔 And then he does the Drake pointing meme, while we all stare like, “Excuse me, sir, THIS IS NOT THE STONKS WE SIGNED UP FOR!” 💸 **Alleged Developer:** "Me trying to explain to my mom why I’m only getting 15% and not 30% like usual…” 🤷‍♂️💀 So, are we all excited or just seething into our keyboards? 🤔🔥 🔥🔮 Hot take: In five years, we'll be living in a world where Apple just takes our souls for commissions. Get ready for the *Apple Soul Exchange*, coming soon! 🍎😈🍏