🍏🔥 DING DONG, APPLE'S BACK AND THEY'RE THROWING SALE PARTIES LIKE IT'S 1999! 🎉💸 Meet the shiny new gang: the Apple Watch Series 11 (because 10 wasn’t blingy enough), Ultra 3 (for those ultra needs), and SE 3 (aka the poor cousin, no cap). 💀👩‍🦯 And don’t forget the iPhone 17 lineup, because they skipped the 16 like they skipped building anything revolutionary 🙄. While y’all were busy coping with reality, Apple dropped new accessories that are more overpriced than your last therapy session 🤑. Wanna charge your phone? Good news: you can now do it with a 25W charger that basically costs the same as a small car! 🚗💥 🤣 "We designed the new cases to be stylish, nothing says 'I’m broke but make it fashion' like a 500-dollar phone wrapped in leather." - *Some random Apple dev in a hoodie, probably*. So, are you ready to feast on these launch deals? Check it out on Amazon before they run out because you know, FOMO is real and Apple knows how to troll us like a pro! 🎯👀 🔥🔥 DADDY TIM COOK, WHY NOT JUST START CHARGING US FOR AIR? I predict within five years, we’ll be buying fresh air straight from Apple in a can – the Apple Air-Can™. 🌌🔮 STONKS UP, BABY! 📈💥