🚨📱BREAKING NEWS—Apple just dropped the $999 iPhone Air, and fam, it’s a THIN BOY! 🚀💸 Like, we’re talking about a device that's so slim it might just slip under your couch like that snack you dropped LAST WEEK. 😱 So apparently, this beauty is stepping in to replace the iPhone 16 Plus, which was basically the tech equivalent of that one friend everyone “politely” avoids. 🤡💀 Like, "This is fine"—wait, it’s NOT FINE. It was unceremoniously buried in the “Underwhelming Tech Products” graveyard LIKE A DOG THAT DIDN’T BARK. 💀🔥 Rumor has it, during a *leaked developer Zoom call*, one dude was like, “It’s so thin, we might as well call it the iPhone Air Mattress!” 😂 And you KNOW Tim Cook's slap game is STRONG, so that guy probably got put on an indefinite vacation in the Bahamas. 🏖️✈️ Drake is literally out here pointing at the *price tag* like, “Nah, bruh,” while the rest of us are just trying to figure out how we can afford a new kidney for this overpriced slab of minimalism. 💰😂 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2026, Apple will launch the iPhone AirPods Pro Max Ultra with no screen—just a solid chunk of thin air, and it will still cost $1,299. 😵‍💫💀💸 Who’s buying?! #Stonks