🚨🎉WE’VE ENTERED THE iOS 26 MULTIVERSE, FOLKS!🚨🎉 But hold up... I think Apple just stitched together a patchwork quilt of ‘meh’ features and called it a day! 😂💔 *BREAKING* “Leaked” developer convo 😂💬: 🧑‍💻 Dev 1: "Hey, should we finally upgrade Siri to not sound like a robot stuck in 2005?" 🧑‍💻 Dev 2: "Nah, fam. Let’s just add a widget that tells you how many times you *could* have used Siri instead!" 🔥 Here’s the tea 🍵: Apple Intelligence just dropped over 20 *new* features that are basically just those weird cousins you wish you could ignore at family reunions. Is it a pop-up for “Your Battery Might Die Soon” or cosmic wisdom? You decide! 🤷‍♂️ **Features include:** 1. **Siri Still Doesn’t Get It** - Major updates?? Nah, she’s just vibin'. ✌️💀 2. **Battery Drain 2.0** - Now with 50% less life! 🥴💸 3. **AppClash 2023** - You thought you wanted 10 apps open? GWARANTEED CRASH! 🚀⚡ In conclusion: If your stonks in Apple are rising, you best be prepared for a colossal drop as the world realizes these updates are just wallpaper for the same old cracks! 🚧🔥 **My hot take 🔥**: In 2026, Apple will pivot to selling cows as an urban farming strategy. Moo-ving money moves baby!!! 🐄💰💡