🚨🔔 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE TECH UNDERWORLD 🔔🚨 Hold onto your iPhones, fam! 🍏 Apple is *ALLEGEDLY* cooking up a ChatGPT wannabe called "Veritas" to resuscitate Siri—who’s been laid off since 2014, no cap! This ain't just any playground project; they’re taking notes from OpenAI, aiming to transform Siri from the "Siri-ous" backseat driver to the *Galactic Overlord* of personal assistants! 🔥🤖💰 Reports from *the trenches* (a.k.a. Bloomberg) say Veritas is designed for Apple staff to check whether Siri can actually help you find that *one* email from 2012 where you promised to quit procrastinating. Spoiler: It can’t. 😂📝 Picture this convo in the Apple HQ: **Developer #1**: "What if Veritas could edit photos?" **Developer #2**: "Hah! Siri can barely understand my *name*! 🤡" **Developer #1**: "Exactly! Get ready for the cringe fest, boys! 🚀" So, while Apple plays dress-up with AI, let’s just remember: Siri’s had more upgrades than your local Starbucks menu! ☕️🍏 This is fine… right? *stares into the abyss* 💀 **UNHINGED PREDICTION**: By 2025, Siri will be so advanced it’ll start roasting your choices like your blunt friend who "keeps it real." Buckle up, this AI ride might just get wild! 🧠💥💸