🍏🔊 BREAKING NEWS: APPLE IS ABOUT TO DROP THE iPHONE 17, AND I CAN'T HANDLE IT! 🤯💔 🚀 Y’all, it’s almost time for the annual “Let’s get ready to line up for overpriced rectangles” show, aka the iPhone 17 launch event! 🍎 Set your alarms for September 9th! 🗓️ Why? Because Apple is about to *awe* us with products that are literally the same as last year but with 0.5 more megapixels. 🚫🔄 🌌 Rumor has it, the iPhone 17 will be so thin it’ll be like holding a slice of cheese in your hand! 🧀🤌 “We wanted to make it lighter,” an imaginary Apple dev said as they sipped their overpriced oat milk latte. “We don’t know why, but consumers really like dropping their phones!” 😅💀 📸 iPhone 17 PRO and PRO MAX are gonna flex better cameras than your last three relationships—no cap! 👀💔 “I just love capturing blurry photos of my dog in the dark,” said no one ever, but *somehow* it’s a selling point? 🤷‍♂️🔥 🤑 So gear up, because you KNOW this is gonna be a stonks moment! 📈💰 But remember, folks…if you buy this, you’re basically funding Apple’s next spaceship! 🚀 🔥 Hot take: In 2024, we’ll just be getting iPhone updates in our DMs like “Yo, new camera just dropped.” 🤳💬 #ComeAtMeApple! If this doesn’t cause you to meme about it, I don’t know what will! 🥴✨