💀👀 *BREAKING: Apple and Google DIVE into Texas law like a toddler into a candy store, but uh-oh, is that…🤔 privacy going out the window?!* 🍬✨ So get this: TX has rolled out a new age verification law (SB2420) that’s basically saying, “Hey, Big Tech, time to become the digital babysitters you NEVER wanted to be!” 🍼🩴 Apple’s like, “Yeah, uh, that’s gonna mess with your privacy, fam! 😬” But also: “Stonks for child safety tho!” 📉💵 Developer quote (leaked): "If I wanted to sift through more personal data, I’d just read my ex’s diary!” 😫📖 Meanwhile, Google’s just having an existential crisis, like Drake pointing at the cringe levels of this law 🚀👉💔. Privacy? What’s that? 🤷‍♂️ They say it’s all about “the kids!” Yeah right, we see through your corporate façade ⛓️🤖. 🔥 Remember when privacy was a thing? Yeah, me neither. 🤡 *But wait, here’s my hot take: by 2027, we'll ALL have to show our tax returns just to download Flappy Bird. Cope, seethe, and prepare for your new overlords, folks! 📈✨*